I fuckin’ hate turkey. Turkey is no good. Seriously, who the HELL eats TURKEY? Chicken is not endangered! EAT CHICKEN INSTEAD! It is delicious and turkey is not!

Turkey can be delicious, of course, when roasted the same way you would a chicken. But a chicken would still be better. And besides, nobody ever roasts turkey any more. They just serve it up as some mangled slab of bland meat that looks like it was squashed by that machine that killed the Terminator.

Fuck turkey.